Look from the other side........

2011-06-13T00:23:00.001+08:00

to look at everything from a whole new perspective may seem rebellious to some and crazy to others, bt its to avoid walking down the same path...thus, the new world becomes bigger than ur imagination. and if ur imagination is bigger than the world, u r rdy to write history

and tis is post 556...maybe i shld have let it stayed at 555? lol

2011-05-26T11:31:00.003+08:00

cast into doubt once again. Once again i m forced to continue tis journey of self-discovery. bt yet again i ask myself, "isn't tis a futile effort?"

becos finding the answer doesnt solve any problems, and i knew the solutions alrdy.

bt at least it tells me to try again to find an answer tt has eluded me for the past 22yrs. And wif tt it will unlock an instrinsic part of me tt is stubbornly hidden.

bt most prob, it will end up like all previous attempts....

Fortunately, it will nt affect anything at all. Like a cool :)

2010-12-17T17:59:00.002+08:00

wtf.....2 mths nvr update...zzz

maturity is sth i lack...lol...yep being logical is a bonus and randomly being unlogical has its gd and bads...bt yep it hides the inmaturity in myself from prying eyes..including myself...

sometimes u noe wats the key, bt u r unable to unlock it...sometimes its juz stubbornness holding u back...bt behind it theres the reasons y its there...

its always abt change to break thru urself...and its always tis word to bring change : FORCE

if i can force myself to FORCE myself...den change will occur...a vicious cycle would b broken...replaced by a new ever-renewing cycle :)

the system would flow

Procrastination & Fear...make it or break it...

Stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea is like the best idiom to describe now. stubbornly staying in the middle is worse.

yeah and i juz got gan-ed. tts the prob of following the flow of another system...zero control :(

2010-10-14T16:36:00.002+08:00

drained is the word...

when ppl say life isnt a bed of roses...there muz b sth tt happened to them...

when u r tired...u have to recharge...

bt when u dun have time to recharge...u have to deplete ur reserves...

and when u depleted ur reserves...den u have to suck it up and persevere...

finally when u can recharge...juz make sure u recharge fully so tt u r prepared for another rd...

tis is a endless process tt happens to every1 in life...u havent pushed urself if u didnt experienced tis...u havent sacrificed enough if u didnt experienced tis...

when everything is done...all u have to do is to reap the rewards :)
tis is the theory of karma too :)

2010-10-04T23:38:00.003+08:00

life is like the ocean...theres high and low tides...

theres the swash and the backwash...

theres currents here and there...

the occasional storms...

and its nvrending...

bt its how u make the best out of it...
becos life its nvr a constant...

2010-09-13T23:38:00.002+08:00

in life...as u grow up...u have less and less life...

workload will juz increase and increase...

draining schedules...

tts y balance is more impt now than ever...
managing time is ever more impt..

2010-08-14T23:34:00.003+08:00

completed the 1st exam since 'A' lvls today...lol

it wasnt tt hard...tis makes mi abt less worried abt studies ba...tt slight only...OB essay is the killer...lets hope i wun fall into the gone case few...

yep after 1+yr...i realised i didnt really change myself...instead of being a much betta person wif shadows of the old mi...i remained the old mi wif almost no change at all...so many phrases of life passed thru me during the past yr...so many things changed and i m juz moved like juz a little bit from step 1...when ppl r dunno how many steps away le...

more change is needed...more change

2010-08-09T12:56:00.002+08:00

i tink i have the slackest uni life compared to every1...

yet...i tink i m still the slackest person in my course...

every other else is gonna start being busy when their respective schs starts...

bt well...if memories r created..if every1 doesnt have time to meet up...the fun from the past wun juz disappear..

even if in the end all of us wun b fighting for the same future tgt..

u noe tt there will b a time where u will meet and reminise the old times :)

as long as u still consider the ppl as frenz :)

2010-07-05T18:13:00.002+08:00

sch's started!!

i muz say it isnt easy to tune back in the studying mood...bt well its still okie for now...tis week will b the real challenge of adapting...

yeah the words now is TIME MANAGEMENT

if i succeed...den the amt of things i can do will b imba...if nt...well i will succeed lol...

shld i say...i dun have a choice bt to succeed hahas

2010-06-16T18:40:00.003+08:00

wow...tis blog is seriously sibei inactive...2 posts a mth seems like a nt bad alrdy now compared to last time lol...

yep fb is too public le...so sometimes blogging is betta cos ppl cnt comment lol...and definitely less ppl would noe...although the word of mouth is scary...bt tis low profile blog + person has nth tt would interest ppl so its ok..hahas...nice place to vent...

well...i tink i blogged abt image b4 bt i feel like blogging again lol...

wat u potray to others is ur image...how ppl c ur image is their perceptions...for the same image u potrayed...different ppl may perceive different things...therefore all the misconceptions and misunderstandings arise...

bt ppl will have many different images they wanna potray...and in the end its abt how well u potray urself...wat ppl wan to potray and wat they actually potray may b different...u can only try ur best and improve on how u potray it...its abt bringing out wat u wan ppl to perceive u successfully...

finally...its abt ur true self...like a mask...many ppl dun wan or r unable to potray their true self out properly to ppl...is 1 of ur images ur true self? or r u keeping ur true self in?

in the end...how much of ur true self is in ur images?

phew...things tis long cnt write in fb lah...lol...tis rant i have been wanting to rant for 1-2 weeks le bt i dun have time and juz pure lazy hahas...

to say the truth...i dunno wat is my true self...so the images i potray i oso dunno true it is...since its like tt i guess its okie to assume its my true self ba lol...even super close frenz have things they dun share wif each other...

bt i guess every1 has a part tt is nt shown and nvr shown to others...theres always a part where u dun wan to reveal...tts wat makes every1 their own private property lol...

anyway its the world cup now...dun really have the world cup atmosphere tis time rd...abit sianz bt bo bian lah...i will juz chase it thru newspapers...

2010-06-05T00:10:00.002+08:00

woo~~~ time flies again and again...

w/o realising...it has been 1 yr le...many things happened along tis 1 yr journey....i seen many things...heard many...learned many...realised many...understood many...

tis yr of ups and downs...makes life interesting isnt it?

yep...so as the journey continues...i hope to continue seeing many...hearing many...realising many...understanding many...and definitely learning many!!!

so cont to look forward to the ever improving kr ba :)

2010-05-28T13:54:00.002+08:00

some opinions when u openly disclose it...either ppl will get the wrong idea...tink too much etc etc...it makes ur own life difficult...

so i decided...might as well keep it to urself...

the world is too much a scary place wif the amt of 道听途说，人云亦云...ur tots juz wun get across they way u wan it...

2010-05-24T01:57:00.001+08:00

when and where is the limit?

2010-05-21T03:28:00.002+08:00

i tot...if there is a way to change w/o losing too much of my present self...i guess its juz tt i dun dare let go of myself now...

i tot...if its possible to succeed w/o changing too much...i guess its still juz tt i dun dare let go of myself now...

change is inevitable...bt its scary if u tink how much u have changed over the yrs...it is a gd thing...bt well...u start to doubt which is truly u...

i nid another change in mindset...seriously

2010-05-17T19:19:00.002+08:00

freedom is every1's ideal future...

putting it into a equation,

Freedom = Money X Time X Health

all 3 r equal in priorities...u cnt leave any1 of it out...yet all of it r playing hard to get in life...

seriously i got neither...zzz...being contented is how most ppl achieve happiness..bt freedom best way to achieve happiness in life...cos theres nth 2 worry abt...

too bad most ppl in the world dun achieve either freedom nor happiness...

looking at the older generations...look at ur parents...look at ur grandparents...

LOOK

are they contented? r they free?

its time to break tis vicious cycle...

2010-04-30T02:00:00.001+08:00

too many belittle life itself and in the end suffers for it...

tis is called KARMA

2010-04-25T22:00:00.003+08:00

i almost give up on attaching songs to tis blog le...zzz...i cnt make a player work w/o showing it...

so silence shld greet u while u r on tis blog ba...

2010-04-24T16:52:00.001+08:00

a week of saddness shld b enough...

its time 2 move on

2010-04-19T21:07:00.002+08:00

today early in the morning...

i saw the newspapers horoscope...it said the snakes luck would nt b good 2day...

hit right smack in the face...

the day was sad...

the rain made it the perfect setting...and it rained heavier and heavier...

its like it knew...

2010-04-18T11:22:00.000+08:00

woots~~

happy bday jessica!!!

SNSD hwaiting~

2010-04-13T00:53:00.001+08:00

wat does ur life revolve ard?

family? frenz? work? etc??

wat can u lose? wat cant u lose?

2010-04-02T00:07:00.002+08:00

committments

as ppl grow up...there r only more and more committments...interesting enough...once u complete a committment...almost naturally 1 or more will juz pop out w/o u noeing...

its a vicious cycle zzz...

u r caught in it...so wat will u do?
u cnt break out of it...wat will u do?
u r bound for life...wat will u do?

will u b drown by it?
will u fight against it?
or will u control it?

give up?
make the best out of it?

choices...
u got it...so wat will u choose?

becos every1 chose differently...
we r wat we r now...
we r all walking our different paths...

nobody will walk the same route...
we can only walk a similar route...

r u doing it?

choose ur committments

2010-03-31T00:12:00.002+08:00

due to procrastinating too much....now i m rushing all the uni applications zzz...

every1 is busy wif their own committments...including and excluding mi...well wif some arrangements..there shld b more time to slot in more committments i hope...

now its time to slowly complete some things i held back...

tis blog is mayb gonna be even deader...every1 de is alrdy dead so if mine is still functioning once in a while is still betta than the rest ba? wuahaha...

2010-03-14T16:34:00.002+08:00

things r starting to move once again...

yep its abt breaking the mental block...things i have said many many mths back...after procrastinating for like a dunno how long...finally i settled some of them...

the feeling is quite nt bad...

and more will come...slowly bt surely...i will complete the things i set...

yeah a few yrs later...prepare to c a super-multi-talented kr!! (now alrdy multi-talented le LOL)

Are You Rdy?

every1 is like a nt bad...lol

2010-03-11T11:51:00.002+08:00

randomness...

now there's sth 2 look forward to :)

and i tink i gonna cont splurging cos of IT show...zzz...a sin indeed...lol...
nth lasts foreva so when things r spoiled u juz have 2 replace it...

2010-03-09T01:38:00.002+08:00

its funny tt time is the 4th dimension bt yet its the only 1 tt has 1 direction...so time only passes by...zzz...

the week was 'filled' wif the so called heart to heart toks? toked to a few in like the random of times...the word is random...sibei random here and there lol

yeah i tink dota was a little bit excessive...time 2 cut down abit lol..

ya random again bt happy bday to the go go ma leader taeyeon!!!

and all those wif the same bday...i lazy go facebook check hahas...
and oso happy belated to yingying...it slipped my mind lol...

2010-03-02T15:59:00.003+08:00

woah...its march alrdy...u noe tis yr time passes really fast...dun tink its the ORD factor bt well time really pass fast sia...w/o noeing we r alrdy near 1/4 of the yr...

its another stage of our lives and we juz have to make the best of it yea? its nt abt u and the ppl ard u...rather its abt urself and urself only...every1 is the leader...becos u r the 1 in charge of ur own life...talks wif blar blar blar and yada yada yada etc etc well made me start tinking once again...made mi do some soul searching...

i havent found the direction, bt i found a direction...a general 1 i can go towards to...

theres nth i wanna achieve...bt theres alot of things tt i dun mind doing...so i m gonna do and mayb at the end i mayb can unearth the things i wan in life...

and to start it off is the stop PROCRASTINATING...i told myself tis many times bt in the end i fell into the trap again again...juz yst i realised i fell into the trap once again...wah the feeling is fucked up...so yst nite i started to do things to break tis spell so heng ar...mayb still got hope...

yeah time 2 force myself to do lots of things alrdy...

cos time waits for no one...

yep and thx for those diamond bonds man...if those bonds arent diamond i dunno wat to do lol...

fighting, gambatte, hwaiting, 加油 wateva...break the bloodi spell

2010-02-14T22:52:00.002+08:00

happy cny!!

yep...spending my cny alone for the 2nd yr in a row...well last yr got duty so bo bian...family went back malaysia while i camped and home and in camp doing duty...lol as least got ppl 2 tok in camp hahas....

tis yr leh...ORD liaoz...bt its quite wtf when tis morning den found out my passport expired..zzz...muz b becos ns 2 long nvr step out of the country 2 long den totally forgot tt the passport has a certain lifespan...so afternoon i saw my family go back malaysia once again...w/o mi...

well...experience the life of living alone loh...i muz say...its super duper boring and sianz sia...mayb its becos i m nt used 2 a empty hse ba...

so tis few days...i will juz receive the scroll, accept the misson more often...and oso snsd abit more lo...hahas...add on t-ara kara etc etc...

so....hwaiting!! lol...

2010-02-05T13:28:00.001+08:00

in pandora's box lies hope...

in mine there's an extra thing called fear...

the future looks super near now

2010-02-03T23:35:00.002+08:00

nobody bothers to update their blogs nowadays...zzz...tis shld mean every1 is super busy...bt aiyah update abit oso wun die wat...nid alot of time meh...lol...

yep...busy tis word doesnt really fit mi anymore...shld say...SUPER BUSY...hahas...ORD is coming soon and society is gonna have a big blast on ppl like us...so its time 2 start utilising the free times cos u cnt do tt for the past 2yrs...lol...

well dun really have time 2 use the com oso...its alrdy incredible if i can use it everyday...and most of the time i only have time 2 use for less than 1h b4 i KO due to fatigue...so...if i can blog...so can u!! LOL

swee~~ finally its here man...

2010-01-31T11:51:00.002+08:00

ups and downs r part and parcel of life...

emotions and tots went on a roller coaster ride the past week...bt well at least in the end the logical mi took over and reflections started...

so now i m a stronger person :)

2010-01-27T12:38:00.002+08:00

after 2 weeks...my cough still hasn't healed...

1+ more week to ORD...been waiting 4 tis since 2008...its such a long journey....where shit happens...where u r at a loss of everything...where u start treasuring everything outside...all tis will end soon le XD

like i said...shit happens...so i gonna nid go back 2 camp after ORD...sibei sianz...bt okie lah juz give it 2 them loh...wat can we say...

yup wif every1 going crazy abt kpop...seems likes its the era of electropop...lol...

perseverance

2010-01-22T00:34:00.002+08:00

tis cough is fucked up...1 week le...

a question: does a normal person body hurt when u cough?

damn sianz...zzz...

2010-01-17T00:37:00.002+08:00

sibei tired...the past few weeks has been a crazy schedule where slp is deprived...

u would wonder...y push urself so hard...y do so much...y do things tt r irrelevant 2 urself...

bt i cnt complain tt life is unfair to mi...

i wont complain tt life is unfair to mi...

even if things r disadvantageous to mi...even if i have 2 do more than enough things...even if i dun wan to do it...even if nobody recognizes my hard work...even i have to contribute more than others...

i would maintain the balance...

i would b the farmer amidst the sea of flyers...

i would help and encourage all those i can...

forget abt all those lies...forget abt all those committments...
it doesnt really matter much anymore...
wat matters is tt we cherish all those hu still stick
we encourage all those tt left
we patiently await their return...
we do our own part...

in the end we r still a TEAM
and a team divides the task and doubles the success

talk abt karma...
i help others...i hope others help mi...

juz continue walking :)

2010-01-10T22:57:00.002+08:00

growing up means extra responsibilities...either short or long term, there's always a general increase in things to do, burdens etc...

u can either let it pull u down or fight it back

last week was a week of little rest...dunno how the body take it de...yep next few weeks seems like its gonna b busy too...

lets hope the 1 day where i can 睡觉睡到自然醒 comes quickly...

the disastrous shot i shot in the morn rebounded and smashed into my face...well the nose doesnt feel like the old nose anymore...lol...recover pls...

yep had fun wif the cls too :) actually to say the truth...i nvr tot tt the cls can still somehow b in 1 piece after 3yrs...its a gd thing and let's all try 2 keep it in place ba~~

lastly happy 21st bday 2 yvonne and bok!! its the official announcement tt u r all adults le...soooooo...be more like adults? lol...

yeah every1 is making their 21st bdays like its a super BIG thing...oh well...

2010-01-03T01:37:00.002+08:00

zzz...its the only the 2nd day of 2010 and some1 alrdy says i m 21 yrs old...although i juz officially became 20yrs old like 2mths ago...bt nobody cares eh? hahas...

suddenly it feels like time flies...so fast and its another yr...

so i can look forward for R21 shows and dread voting...LOL...

2010-01-02T00:19:00.003+08:00

a new yr!!! happy new yr!!! welcome 2010!!!

yeah man..the new yr started wif a beautiful display of fireworks at the best possible position...as they say 好的开始是成功的一半...so tis yr shld be gd or betta!!!

i will nt put resolutions here...no pt since i dun check my own achives de...yep bt i will put it in someplace i can c much often loh...like tt i wun forget so easily...for example i alrdy forgot wat i put last yr...most prob i didnt complete any of it ba...lol and zzz...

lots of things r gonna change and happen tis yr...like being a civilian once again...so lots of catching up and change would b nided...tis time laggin behind is nt an option anymore...alrdy wasted like 1yr 10mths hahas....time management will b key

yep, a new yr
new prespectives
new knowledge
new ideas
new options
new things
new goals
new mentality
and new etc etc..........

so i will end off the 1st post of the decade wif tis phrase which u almost c everywhere if u take the mrt...its by 孔子

"It does not matter how slow u go as long as u do not stop"

keep walking

2009-12-31T01:11:00.000+08:00

everything is like so jumbled up...

so its time 2 heck...

do 1 thing at a time

2009-12-28T14:05:00.002+08:00

i tink learning how 2 hold ur liqour would b one of the things i nid 2 achieve next yr lol...

2 mi tis yr the xmas doesnt feel like xmas...dun have the atmosphere leh...bt i can say its still packed here and there...for example its the 1st time in dunno how many yrs i spent xmas wif my family instead of my frenz...its quite a wow bt well sometimes plans do change...

yep the national museum was 1 place i went to...the egypt mummy exhibition was quite interesting and i saw some1!!! guess hu? give u all a clue...i once called him bastard...LOL...funny lah 2 c him wif his gf...heng he didnt saw mi...hahas...

and cheers to every1 hu encouraged mi and shared ur experiences...esp pearlyn!! yeah man u all rox!!

and i m tinking tis yr really shld tink and list out new yr resolutions le...so next yr can compare compare...wasting another 365days sounds quite scary...

and 1+mth to ORD!!! ORDing le~~ woots~~

lastly merry ex-mas!! lol...and happy new yr in advance!!

2009-12-23T11:15:00.001+08:00

at the end of the yr....festive seasons juz takes over....

bt we r still fighting...

so jiayou guys!!

2009-12-18T11:07:00.001+08:00

i wonder if my face will go back to normal anot...

i guess i can only trust and believe ba...

2009-12-16T11:12:00.001+08:00

my face looks punched....

2009-12-14T23:03:00.006+08:00

the weekend was a time of reflections and realisations...

it was a crazy period of little rest and lots fun...it was a period where things change...

i saw my weaknesses so clearly...
i saw the need to change myself...
i wanted to improve myself...
i wanted to be a betta person...

i knew however small it may b...sth in mi definitely did change...

bonds was forged...
bonds were refined...

i learned...
we learned...
so much

life is not abt reality, its abt perceptions
there is no right or wrong
its juz how u perceive it

life is abt being tgt
be it family or frenz
as long as we tink in the same direction
no obstacles r too difficult to resolve
ONE TEAM, ONE MIND, ONE BODY, ONE SOUL

i m filled wif lots of fear for tml...bt bo bian have to overcome it myself...hope everything goes smoothly~ yep i shld b uncontactable tml

paiseh guys 4 nt being able 2 attend the cls bbq...so organise another 1 soon ba :)

yep like karma...now i have 2 settle other outings...zzz...

a team divides the task and doubles the success
tts true teamwork

2009-12-10T00:27:00.002+08:00

seems like i get motion sickness quite easily...concussed like free...

yep i will disappear till sat nite...so dun dun dun dun contact mi cos u cant...drop mi a msg den i will reply u on sat nite if i m still conscious...lol...its gonna b a shaggged 2days bt i m sure its gonna b sooooooo fun man...looking 4ward to it...

so tis weekend i m totally nt free...anything pls next week or wat...book fast in case u regret!!

i managed to strategically place my leave so tt i no nid go camp 4 2 weeks...shuai lah...bt it doesnt mean a very shuang 2 weeks...plucking wisdom tooth man...i noe i m quite crazy to pluck all 4 tgt...i tink my mind will b shut down by the irritating pain ba...dunno if i can move my mouth anot lol...liquid liquid food here i come~~~

digged my bmt specs out...lol...gonna use it for the next few days...funny leh my mum say i look more 斯文 wearing the black specs...hahas...prob is my eyeballs are protruding so sometimes my eyes will stick wif the glasses...quite wth so have to wear it a bit out...lol...super deformed eyeballs...

after tinking some time...i tink i still wan a car...lol...

and i m hungry now lol...

and i feel slpy lol...

worst thing is i havent packed my back for tml...hong gan...zzz...

2009-12-08T00:45:00.002+08:00

com is back from lots of ATT B and 1 day of ATT C!!! prob is its nt covered...i have 2 pay $60...zzz...

yep sun bball was like the 1st time i exercised in mths...it was a crazy ard 3hrs of 3v3...only interrupted by water breaks of ard 30s between matches...siao is the word...

so now i m aching all over...zzz...

and i tink wat wilson said to mi is true...i have not found my direction...i m juz like a lost sheep wandering in the wilderness...i have learned to not expect...to live as it is...to b content wif i have now...to push myself bt not expect results...to b a pessimist and always tink the worst possible situation...so tt nth will surprise mi and everything tt happens is always a positive and happy thing...

i have still not found any direction in my life...bt give mi time as i try to find my final destination and start moving towards it...it may be eons b4 i find it...bt juz stand by mi :)

2009-11-29T00:25:00.002+08:00

today was a good day...

lots of laughter and fun!!! well...most of it of directed on dog...bt hahas...it was juz funny lah...its been a long time since i had tt much of fun...lol...so too bad doggie...trying fliping eh? juz dun flip until u spin~~~

so sometimes u juz have to take initiative...sometimes u muz juz stand up to lead...even though u noe u wun b able to do a gd job...bt if nobody does it...u got no choice...even a communist community nids leaders to guide the rest ard...lol...

yeah congrats dog for organising a successful bball session once again...yep although everytime is a damn small gathering...nevertheless well its still fun anyway...lol...so...........................*claps*

hahas...i nid consistent exercise...tt bloodi bball session made mi realise how cui my body is...seems like i nid to try maintain my body abit or else mayb 1 yr later i cnt even do simple exercises w/o getting seeing the usual stars...damn it man...some1 motivate mi leh...

its contradictory...bt i nid build up my stamina and endurance + my super short bursts of power (爆发力)...contradictory shit...zzz...so how? solutions any1??

to be strong physically, mentally......and financially lol...

2009-11-24T00:17:00.002+08:00

self doubt...

tis thing happens everytime...mayb its fate...mayb its nt enough effort...tis thing is like a pest tt nvr dies...sometimes u juz put in ur utmost effort...bt results juz doesnt come...

take wushu for example...trained dilligently for 9yrs...in the end achievements is so-so...standard wise oso like abit above average...other ppl train 1-2yrs reach my standard liaoz...

leadership cui...being a leader isnt easy...being a good leader is damn hard...yep in the end i m still unable to lead a grp properly...

studies...pia damn hard oso cnt get results proportionate to ur hard work...

learning ability...damn slow...ppl overtake mi like free...zzz...

etc etc..........

seeing all these...its no wonder y many times i start to doubt myself if i m really suited for tis for tt...or doubting if i can b able to keep close the distance in abilities between mi and my frenz...

hahas gd thing is tt i got some perseverance and so juz keep trying...even though i may stop halfway and give up...yep in the end most prob i would juz continue wif it...although it may seem like the gap is increasing...i know i m improving little by little...insignificant bt still moving forward...

phew...writing out is actually quite shuang de...plucking out all the 烂草莓 so tt it will nt continue to bother mi...hahas...

yep its time 2 work hard once again in everything i do...yep mayb 1 day i would b on par or even betta in everything compared to the others...

bt well...its time 2 find all the sparks to reignite...lol...

keep going on

2009-11-22T23:42:00.001+08:00

sianz....i juz realised 2hrs ago tt i nid 2 report 2 camp tml...zzz...

and ORD is still some time away...zzz...

2009-11-21T23:38:00.002+08:00

visualize

driving a mercedes was like woah...super duper smooth...

no wonder every1 like continental cars...

damn tired now man...

2009-11-19T14:07:00.003+08:00

yeah!! now i m 20!!

finally reach the 2x mark...its like such a long time...yet...most of the time we were juz studying studying studying and still studying...wif lots of fun filling the rest of the time...lol...

20yrs pass by so fast man...sometimes u wish there was more time so tt u can enjoy more...bt too bad the clock juz keeps ticking...zzz...at least i believe i have found lifelong frenz..yeah man!

and thx to every1 hu wished mi a happy bday!! yep appreciate tt~~~~

the 1st thing i did on my bday is 2 bathe...cos i reached home like minutes before midnight...wat a refreshing start lol...den spent the next 1hr+ watching singapore vs thailand on channel 5 (dunno wat i doing)...and den yada yada yada...bt it feels gd not to b in camp on my bday...ns life really isnt bad...its juz super duper bad...its like wasting time inside when u can use it for much more productive stuff...

well...bday is juz a normal day where u feel special...

abt the future...
life of the real world will juz b starting...where we will become true citizens in society...where we will start our lives as adults...and excuses tt we r still young or we r nt mature or wateva will expire soon...lol...

the next 10yrs will b like the most impt time of our lives...our prime yrs man...where every1 and everything will go at lightspeed...u nvr noe...many of us will find their lifelong partners and settle down...lol...

the 1st 2 decades was like the foundation...
tis new decade is the beginning...

most of us walked the same paths for the last 20yrs...
now all our paths will start to diverge...

its a cultural shift...
its a change in mentality...

so would you shine?

2009-11-18T00:05:00.002+08:00

y is the meteor shower coming at 3am!? crazy time....

so next time is dunno when liaoz....zzz

2009-11-05T22:04:00.002+08:00

things change....

my time has changed back 2 b in track wif most of the world...

welcome mi back to normal civilisation...

and its nov!!
my fav mth...its the mth where things ends and new things begin~

i can c wat will begin tis time rd...its a mth of fighting
so juz survive

2009-10-20T02:49:00.003+08:00

since wil alrdy blogged abt mi passing tp...its quite stupid if i dun announce it myself...

yup..passed tp~~~

finally something completed...it has been a much longer journey i expected getting tis license...i noe i m super duper slow in learning...bt well...at least i managed to reach the final destination :)

teo's bike accident didnt affect my decision to learn bike...lol...muz b either somewhere in my heart says its still nt serious enough (its quite serious) or tt i really tt badly wan 2 learn bike...although u can c bike learners look super spas in circuit...lol...well initially wanted 2 learn bike 1st de...bt dunno how became car...nvm...lets put it after ORD ba...

time 2 check details for powerboat license...many ppl say its stupid 2 wan learn how 2 drive a boat cos u will nvr use it...bt 2 mi...y nt man? at least u noe u can drive when the nid arises...

oh ya...the end of yr genting trip has headed for doom....so its a challenge 2 clear the 3 days of leave i allocated usefully....time 2 plan...zzz...

got tt urge 2 go karaoke...any takers? lol...........

2009-10-19T00:29:00.002+08:00

tis is post 500~~~

it took abt 4yrs for tis blog to reach wat it is now...its a long journey of tots and events...seeing the blog follow mi all the way thru my ups and downs...thru the thicks and thins...u noe...juz makes mi feel i shldnt let it die...and juz continue to be a so called diary where i freeze myself of tt time inside...

and mayb 1 day in the future...i will juz read thru everything when i m bored...and den reminsce abt the times i had....

the last 100 posts is like a whirlwind...done in 7mths...bt tis 7mths was an eventful 1...

-i made a few big decisions
-i had many crazy downs...and some ups...
-new experiences galore...
-spent much more time alone...
-did self reflections...
-made new frenz, parted wif some...
-saw some things clearer...
-the urge to tatoo...

as we grow up...everybody lives would eventually drift apart...the paths we all take would start diverging from each other...life has alot of partings and meetings...sometimes it may b hard 2 accept...bt when the time comes...u juz have 2 venture ur own path urself...u will nvr noe u would meet along the way...u nvr noe wat u will find at the end of ur own path...

the path of growing up has dampened my database of emotions...shld say i m getting more unfeeling...smiles and laughter isnt tt naive and pure anymore...sometimes u juz r unable to smile and laugh along...anger is almost out of my dictionary...i dunno nvr gotten angry 4 how long le...anything juz shrug it off...ppl sabo mi oso juz tank...some grumblings, tulaness tt dun last...

bt mayb the world is juz like tt...society makes ppl so busy 2 even feel...every1 is either busy or 2 tired to rmb the emotions they experienced...in the end they juz 4get how 2 b happy...how 2 b sad etc etc...on my 1.5h trips on the train i c almost every1 is giving a blank face...

it takes 2 hands to clap...mayb i unknowingly raised my hand and allowed myself 2 b washed and erased...tt i dunno....

tots of suicide passed by and was gone in a flash over the past decade...
bt its something i nvr do...

cos i m 2 scared abt wats after death...
cos its too much trouble caused to those hu i noe...

STUPID TOTS

my body feels like degrading all the way man...actually i wun b surprised if i go 4 a checkup and the doctor tells mi i got terminal cancer...hahas...

pure ranting....
another 100 posts later...mayb i would b wif a smiling face, reading tis post no 500...den say BULLSHIT...

well, u nvr noe...
life is too unpredictable...
it nvr stops surprising...

or else life wouldnt b interesting, rite?

2009-10-14T23:09:00.002+08:00

its the durian season...every1 is eating it...

yep its the same in my hse...almost everyday got durian eat...hahas...cnt b helped cos my family likes durians...we eat since small sia...my mum practically grew up looking at durian trees...lol...last time we used to go back my grandparents hse in the kampong...den we will feast on all sorts of fruits...cos got fruit plantation mah...now my grandparents too old 2 handle it so changed to oil palm...they were reluctant bt no choice if they cnt take care of it...yep so no more fresh durians...

yup...nvr die b4...i m eating it although i have cold and cough and phelgm...i predict i wun recover tt early...lol...

i nid some1 to force mi exercise sia...cmi liaoz...last time in sch got wushu so almost everyday exercise...den go bmt oso same...now is opposite...ZERO exercise...and i dun have the initiative to exercise myself....zzz...

picking up from the emo-ness i felt the past few days....tot abt many extreme things...bt in the end i would nvr do...reason? next post den reveal...lol...next 1 is special...

so juz wait yea?

2009-10-12T00:21:00.002+08:00

its amazing how tt small almost invisible cut on my leg i got yst is causing so much discomfort when i walk...every 2 steps is accompanied by a irritating slight pain which cnt b avoided...

coughing until i feel like dying...zzz...

and bombarded by lots of negative tots recently...shld b b gd thing ba...cos at least it will b taken out...

2009-10-10T23:48:00.003+08:00

been sick ONCE AGAIN...basket...

tis time rd is cos i ran in a downpour den immediately stay inside aircon for 2hrs...the immediate result was numb hands and legs...aftereffect was a cold...now i still have my cold...add sore throat...plus feeling my eyes burning when i close them...

congrats 2 mingxuan for being in the top 10 for mr singapore!
the cls went 2 zirca 2 support him...2 many of us r going 2 a club 4 the 2nd time (1st time was post prom @homeclub)...and i muz say...we didnt club at all!! lol...once the results announce we all zao liaoz...no pt in staying when the show's over yea? so in the end...i nvr experience clubbing at all b4...bt mx de body is omg toned man...i can only say...POWER

tp is coming once again...damn...tis shall b the last time i mention tp until i pass it...i m freaking sianz abt taking tis 2nd time le...if confidence + skills cnt let u pass...its juz fate telling u tt u r suay...

and sometimes u r juz sick and tired of ppl's attitude towards u...
u may b disappointed at 1st...
bt awhile later..u will juz...heck it...
no reason brooding over it...
its other ppl opinions...y bother...
u cnt satisfy every1...
y force urself changing into something u dun like...

see...as i m typing tis entry...some beetle is attacking mi...
twice somemore...zzz...
seems like i look like 1 tt can b bullied ar?

收放自如

to open up my mind...

its the key...

so do u have it?

2009-10-05T22:59:00.003+08:00

the end marks the beginning

i guess i m in a betta position than i was 1mth ago...

and some idiot say i look like the type which listens 2 classical...omg...classical is most of the time super sianz 2 mi...zzz...

classical...classic~

2009-10-04T17:57:00.001+08:00

FEAR drives mi on...

cos i dun wan 2 b left behind...

2009-10-04T17:45:00.002+08:00

do you fear?

do u believe u r powerful beyond measure?

do u have the confidence 2 walk down ur own path?

do u believe?

2009-10-03T23:41:00.001+08:00

yep...happy bday 2 my bros!!

bt 2 bad...i havent got any presents for them...lol...

2009-10-02T11:50:00.002+08:00

the last lap...some chionging nids and is done...

been falling sick tis few days....those stupid irritating de blocked nose...damn sianz...till now i still m a bit affected...cnt tok properly u noe...

and tis com looks screwed...i m starting 2 whack the cpu when it hangs liaoz...wt...

2009-09-29T22:55:00.002+08:00

didnt get 2 use the com the past 2 days...zzz....

slogged my whole day and life away on sun helping my parents...it only serves 2 remind mi tt $$$ isnt tt easy 2 earn...yeah...plus the fact tt newspapers report tt our cost of living is rising faster than our income...well sg is making its way 2 b 1 of the most costly cities 2 live...we r in the top 20 liaoz if i nt wrong...

camp is oso trying 2 get on my nerves...juz tt i m so immune and ord mood tt i dun really care...guess wat happened tis time? the stby watch didnt wash a cup and i kena cos i was the stby watch yst...juz becos of a unwashed cup tt made my watch fall once again? it so lame loh...

for curious minds which is wondering wat do i do in camp...apart from OPS...tis r the following :

wash cups
make coffee
answer phone calls
buy lunch
escort contractors
repair aircon
change printer ink cartridge/ repair printer
wash toilet
remind ppl of their duty
clean up
tio gan
carry stuff
run errands
etc etc....

in other words...like a slave...
bt my main job is do OPS...

heng gonna ORD in abt 4mths~~~

and i so gonna take all the dental and medical appts i nid...lol...

finding and picking up the momentum

2009-09-26T12:12:00.003+08:00

i may nt b able 2 b an inspiration...

bt i will b the support tt is always holding...

2009-09-24T12:02:00.002+08:00

my aunt came back from aus!!

she's gone for a few yrs...bt she hasn't changed much...or tts i c for now...lol...

drained of slp...actually i oso dunno exactly how much is ok...slp 2 little oso tired...slp 2 much oso tired...bt slp 2 little 4 some time means i gonna get sick soon...slp 2 much feels like wasting 2 much time...

well gd luck 2 those wif prelims promos or wateva exams...

and i m gonna camp at home more tis week...super low on funds.....

2009-09-23T11:49:00.002+08:00

phew....finally nt feverish anymore...lol...

body getting more and more cui...now i get sick more often...bt lucky all nt those 01 x gd 1 type...or else sure gg...dunno tis is gd or bad...u got more days feeling sick...bt nt so sick until u cnt do anything...

the last week was packed wif stuff...tis week things slow down...a nice break actually...i always tink tt packing too much things in a super short time span is nt the type 4 mi...i can tahan mayb ard a week...and u will feel gd cos u r nt wasting any time and using all of it 2 the fullest...bt long term like tt i will zzz...

booked my driving lessons once again...tp is in a mth so its abt time 2 chiong and feel confident abt getting tt license...enduring tt sucky feeling of nt getting it 4 abt 2mths le...waste time energy and $$$....

4+mths to ORD...feels nice...

2009-09-18T13:35:00.002+08:00

its the end...

time 2 prepare 4 ORD...

mayb i was lost again...
bt let mi find the way myself...

2009-09-15T13:53:00.002+08:00

"YOU FUCKING HELL BETTER WAKE UP YOUR IDEA"

tt was wat i got for doing my job and fulfilling my responsibilities...

mayb u shld b the 1 waking up from ur idea...

2009-09-14T16:20:00.000+08:00

fear drives mi on 2 do things...

motivation is juz an impulse...

so mayb...being scared is ok ba?

2009-09-14T00:13:00.002+08:00

1 week of intense exercise...

'final' lap of shit...

'last' obstacle to conquer...

den mayb....i can start to relax much more than i could in my 1yr of closing up...

and den its time 2 look so much forward to ORD...

feels gd tinking tt way...lol...

tot abt something....reflected abit...

bt den intermittent tots...many ways...

which to choose? so confused...

mayb i shld juz try all of it out...den c which is best...

cos in the end...its a skill...something tt when u master it...it becomes a part of life...

yep...and w/o really knowing y...i m now watching hana yori dango...LOL...

watching the jap version...after finish will go watch the korean version...

hahas...inoue mao is really quite cute sia...

we cnt complain abt cute or chio gals yeah?

i m now soooo convinced i wanna go japan for hols...

of cos...theres alot of places i wanna go...

everything starts from the 1st step...

ORD is priority...cos no leave...lol...

now...i gonna go repair my blogsong....hope it works...

2009-09-11T18:42:00.001+08:00

sianz....comex came...yet i cnt buy anything...zzz...is cheap until sianz...

maybe its time 2 try squeeze something out...

blogsong i will repair at a later time...

2009-09-10T02:25:00.002+08:00

i m tinking...theres less and less things 2 blog...wif a monotonous life in NS (super colourful in terms of tio gan) and sometimes packing a few things in schedule...seems like tis blog will go more and more inactive....well...glhf blog...jiayou~~

started like the once a week swimming...ok its quite nt bad de lah...imagine juz swimming non stop w/o disturbance...mind is like a total blank...or u got lots of peace 2 slowly tink thru ur tots...its nt bad de lah....all thx 2 edward and pengwen 4 suggesting it and dragging each other down 2 the swimming pool...

tis weekend shall b quite boring ba...seems like i m almost left alone sia...its abt time i emo-ed abit...lol...well...any1 wanna go comex tgt? i wanna jalan jalan...

now i m quite tired de sia...i m blogging while half aslp...zzz...

and my blogsong gg...nid find some time 2 repair....

a slpy person cant do shit...

2009-09-08T02:08:00.002+08:00

its a new start...

well...i cnt touch the bone juz outside my left eye cos it hurts...tts the prob of being 2 short...basket tio elbowed on the eye...kns...lucky it doesnt show out...or else i dunno wat 2 do sia...

NS wise...i m starting 2 feel tt ord mood le...it sux 4 the watch bt its cool 4 mi...i shld b previleged 2 have tt kind of mood cos i had been slogging like a dog 4 the past 1+ yr in CP...in the end i m still the tanker...my watch mistake still mi kena...nvm liaoz...5more mths 2 ORD!!! ORD LO~

i hope bok closes up at the same place as mi so i can prank him...cool~

and happy bdays for all those hu i 4gt 2 wish a happy bday...

especially teo...confrerie yeah?

and i m soooooo damn tired...havent gotten a real gd nite's rest since dunno how long...muz slpslpslpslpslpslp

2009-08-30T13:51:00.000+08:00

er xin...tis sot sot blogger really doesnt give any motivation 2 blog sia...

its a long week...lots of things has happened...

bt...i still havent achieved my goals...

1 more week...jiayou!!

2009-08-21T16:08:00.000+08:00

unfortunately, the fallen angel i m fell much deeper...

well...i m lazy liaoz...i dun really give a damn...tis is the max le...i seriously dunno how much worse than tis can happen...some party is gonna pay 4 tis...

juz wait loh...and c wat happens...

2009-08-17T02:12:00.003+08:00

its like 3days i nvr touched the com....its a complicated feeling...cos i didnt realise it was 3 days and i was like wow...i didnt touch the com 4 3days!! i tot i couldnt really live w/o it...and other was cos when u realised it...the feeling of touching it suddenly becomes strong...even though u dunno wat u gonna do wif it anyway...

well...the past few days has been busy...averaged a 3hr slping time 4 the past 3days...causing mi 2 oversleep once again when i m supposed 2 report 2 camp...seems like its always the sunday day duty where i oversleep...

(many things happened during the past week, lazy 2 type...juz imagine ba)

lots of ups and downs....honestly speaking i tink i m in quite a mess...its making mi frustrated...bt i gonna persevere and start sorting out stuff when i have the time and the correct attitude...there r times when i feel like giving up...bt when i c the brotherhood fighting 4 a common goal and looking at every1's situation...i tink i m alrdy quite lucky le...

so i will continue wif my goal i saw possible and shone so brightly a few days ago (although its much much much dimmer now)...i will b an example 4 all 2 c...i will b the guiding post 4 ppl hu r lost...i will b the 1 tt lends a hand 2 ppl hu nids it...

for now...i will continue to fight on

wah...i m sooo tired...mentally...

2009-08-11T11:25:00.000+08:00

yst went 2 arthur hse 4 bbq...

really liked the ambience of the condo...its peaceful and it shuts u off from the outside world...u wun b disturbed by the cars or wateva tts passing by...u can juz sit and relax lying on the chair while u look at the swimming pools...

hahas...and thx zhiheng 4 ur ultimate joke...

peace~~

2009-08-10T14:01:00.000+08:00

randomness...

watched fireworks in camp...wat a funny experience...the fireworks r relatively small when watched from changi...and the time lag of the boom sounds is quite obvious...tts wat u get 15km away...fireworks end le the booms still havent end...well...tis ys de fireworks is nt tt wow anyway...bt its still fireworks mah...so quite nice loh...i rmb last time confrerie everytime will report 2 city hall juz 2 watch tt 5-10mins of fireworks...den spend 1h squeezing wif every1...hahas...now tink back...it was stupid...bt wat matters is tt we enjoyed it...lol..

wif my family gone 2 malaysia...left mi and 1 of my bro in sg...so we have 2 do hsework...zzz...i m a bit guilty cos most of it is done by my bro...i juz keep being absent from the hse...hahas...my bro oso keep absent...bt he still can do it...mayb cos i got nite duty so he got an extra nite at home more than mi...lol...bt 2 say the truth...we r juz trying 2 sustain the hse until my parents come back...den we will hear the nagging on how messy the hse is...

2009-08-06T13:43:00.000+08:00

again again again...

camp has been the source all of the bad things tt can go ur way...now some shit has happened again...

i alrdy kena so much shit 4 the past few mths...can't i get a break?

stop draining my energy, my life!!! bloodi hell...still 6mths left...

2009-08-05T00:22:00.002+08:00

a person is most vulnerable when he is tired...tts when all ur defences drop 2 ur lowest point...

to prevent from getting emo...i gonna slp liaoz...nitez~

u nvr tot wat shagness, exhaustion and tiredness could do 2 u...
i m feeling 2 lost 2 tink of any other thing...

2009-08-03T23:42:00.000+08:00

monday blues...zzz...

although i run shift work such tt most of the time until wat day it is doesnt matter 2 mi anymore...bt reporting 2 office for stby on a monday still feels super sucky...

so....i emo-ed in office wif emo songs...

add on the fact tt tio caught for long hair and slping in office...

in the end the monday blues was over!!!

cos i managed 2 tok crap wif quite a few ppl i noe...

and i realised tt i was more prominent than i tot in primary sch...all becos i was 2 small sized...zzz...wateva...

i wanna grow taller!!
i wanna grow taller!!
i wanna grow taller!!
i wanna grow taller!!
i wanna grow taller!!

2009-08-01T11:01:00.000+08:00

my blogger doesnt show compose mode...so u will c no more italics or wateva...typing the codes is 2 much of a hassle...

juz passing by...

yep....6mths and 1 week to ord..

2009-07-30T01:05:00.002+08:00

2day travelled all over sg doing a few stuff...

travelled east from camp 2 go pengwen hse...purpose was 2 become a bangla...did some planning 4 his rm...which in the end still got stuck wif an 11inch problem...no matter how edward mi and him arrange oso kena problems...den we started dismantling his wardrobe and bed...well...it was crazily hard work...and we spent quite some time (ard 2h)...so mayb we shld start appreciating the amt of shit the banglas in sg help us tank...say thx 2 them next time...

den travelled 2 the central...go sim lim square cos edward wanted purchase com...so the shopping starts!! discuss which part 2 use here and there took oso quite some time...den all decided le jiu let them build while we cont shop 4 speakers...ok...actually a powerful com isnt tt ex after all...nt bad sia...

after all those shopping...its time 2 travel west!! tis time 2 edward hse 2 fix his com up + settle his com de software...well...as expected it took a blooooooodi long time...u will nvr tink tt there is so much stuff tt nids 2 b installed on a blank com...by the time i left his hse early at 11.15pm...its still nt settled yet...pengwen was still staying 2 do...actually everything oso pengwen do...he is the only 1 tt noes how 2 do it anyway....so 2 bad loh...

in the end jiu shi travel north back 2 my hse...keep travelling keep travelling....

i m getting too tired...

2009-07-28T15:57:00.000+08:00

juz finished watching koizora...such a long ago show now den watch...lol...muz say actually its quite nice lah...pure sweet and giving love...where can u get tt in real life man...hahas...

later duty wif my CO...gd luck man..last time did wif him was a disaster...

2009-07-28T00:22:00.002+08:00

blogger is getting more and more screwed up man...or mayb is my com getting screwed up...i always have slight probs in using it...zzz...

anyway wushu outing on sat was a success!!! well...cos of last min ps in the end i didnt hit my target of 20ppl...bt 19 is quite enough ba XD...1st time i saw so many ppl attending a gathering...every1 is going on their own ways in life bt at least they bother 2 make time and meet up...lol...

yup...and celebrated trace's bday as well!! it was a coincidence cos i accidentally found out her bday was sunday...den might as well celebrate...i tink wushu ppl luvs bday celebrations...got cake 2 eat...tis time upgrade somemore...its ice cream cake le...left 1 more upgrade called wedding cake...LOL...anyway can c every1 was happy...trace was touched...in the end its a happy day!!

den 2 the other xtreme end of the happiness spectrum...i m back 2 being the tanker 4 every1 de shit...i oso dun understand y m i the 1 kena when the mistakes r done by other ppl...its juz so suay i was on duty? was quite tulan wif every1 after getting f**ked here and there...so i called 2 the person i took over and asked him y tis nvr say tt nvr tell those nvr do...all i got was a blur response which juz means he everything oso dunno...tok abt doing duty...zzz...in the end the only last min salvation i could do was 2 tighten the reins on the ojts...anyway its betta 4 mi 2 scold rather than them getting anything from the regulars....

i can only say...duty is too tiring le...being the ic makes it worse...i wonder y after so many stunts i m still stuck there...

all in all....u can say its a taste of life huh? gd and bad all got...

2009-07-24T12:51:00.002+08:00

my mum told mi i was selfish...

tt i m always taking...bt nvr giving...

tt i was nvr caring enough 2 give a thought...

den she told mi...

to get out of the hse...

and rent a hse outside...

and survive on my own...

if i m able to...

i had no choice...

i had 2 abide 2 her words...

2 stop saying NO 2 her requests...

cos i noe i wouldnt last outside on my own...

i noe tt i couldnt support myself...

it only shows mi 1 thing...

i m still weak...

i m still as dependent on others as i was 10yrs ago...

i m nt as independent as i tot i would b...

in the end...

i didnt really grow up huh?

and i told myself...

i wan 2 b independent...

i wan 2 b some1 ppl can rely on, nt some1 tt relies on others...

i wan 2 b stronger...

stronger...

stronger...

2009-07-24T01:35:00.002+08:00

wow...my blogger is back up...bt den i cnt change my blogsong...the coding is wrong...i oso dunno y...

tis few days more and more ppl sick le...and actually now sick quite worth it...fever jiu get 7days mc!! last time where got like tt de...u can get 2 days can go home tao chio le...

life is getting busy again...wif more shit in camp...and more bonding here and here...well...it really hurts the wallet bt since its 2 have fun somehow...ok lah...

and wushu gathering tis sat...last gathering was like eons ago...lol...its quite gd 2 b able 2 get quite a few ppl 2 attend...bt still havent hit my target no...

life doesnt stop....u juz have 2 continue walking....
as long as u dun stop...u will always b progressing forward...

2009-07-20T00:18:00.002+08:00

fear X confidence

both pushes u forward....bt whether u wan 2 b driven by which depends on u...

i have started on my own transition...

2009-07-18T23:00:00.002+08:00

now i m less emo....more motivated....

bt still very tired....

supper made mi feel inspired...now i really wan 2 b able 2 inspire others...

to make a difference...

2009-07-13T17:50:00.003+08:00

sian-ed....

i failed tp...zzz....for dunno wat reasons oso...i admit i did commit quite some mistakes... bt many of the mistakes caused was becos i didnt noe i had 2 do it...and thanks to a car and a tester tt judges tt car 2 b 'near' when it shld b quite far enough...my demerit shot up like free...lucky i didnt get any immediate failure...

total demerit pts : 38 (12 thx 2 the car)

i lazy 2 calculate those pts kena from things i dunno lah...c le oso tulan...

now i have 2 wait again...basket...

at least i got my shoes yst...wat a consolation....

2009-07-11T23:07:00.002+08:00

an act of kindness...

well it makes mi feel guilty...

total shagness.....

2009-07-09T17:36:00.003+08:00

recuperating....

after a few days of drainess...its time 2 start bucking up again...

休息是为了走更长的路。。。
休息够了，也就该振作自己，继续走下去。

2009-07-08T01:01:00.002+08:00

i m drained....

trying my best 2 pull some1 out of the darkness which he realised he was in bt still unsure of whether he wanted out anot...

yep...going home so late regularly tt i dun have time 2 use the com...

its juz the start...bt i feel like i nid a break...

2009-07-05T17:58:00.002+08:00

life isnt easy at all...

my schedule is quite luan...cos there r times where i have nth 2 do and juz rot...tinking abt wat can i do...

and there r times where everything juz packs itself at the same time...

now wif tp juz ard the corner...i expect i will have little time here and there...

and i have 2 postpone the supposed kbox session...

i m praying cls outing does nt clash wif anything...

have 2 find time 2 buy my shoes...saw 1 which i like bt den no size...so its time 2 look 4 another pair...my track shoes r cui-ing and so i nid my outing shoes...

and oso wif the lessons i wanna attend and the appts i hope i can do and achieve...

realised tt i long time nvr meet up wif confrerie le...damn sianz...i dunno lah...once in a while got tis feeling tt i m quite drifted away le..

i nid time 2 exercise...build muscle burn fats...

and wif my stomach status as super unstable...i like have diarrhoea 4 2-3days le...expect it 2 last 4 another 1week or so...

no time 4 bball trg wif dog!!

etc etc etc....

for a person like mi hu really doesnt quite like a packed schedule...its abit crazy 4 mi lah...i prefer a schedule that is spread out...can do a few things everyday bt nt rushed...

well...船到桥头自然直...wif some planning may i can lessen the clot...

keep an open mind...and believe...

2009-07-03T00:57:00.002+08:00

trust is a responsibility....

becos u have the responsibility to keep the mutual trust...

2009-07-02T03:17:00.000+08:00

DMC is a nice movie...LOL...

and ice age 3 is out!! and i havent watched transformers yet...zzz...i dun wan it snowball again...

2009-06-30T15:45:00.002+08:00

its the end of june!! time tis mth passes abit erratically...early tis mth damn slow...late tis mth quite fast...lol...

cls outing ended on sun...and its quite fun...roller blade sia...every1 say they dunno how 2 roller and in the end every1 is lying...zzz...all noe sia...lucky i last time got learn tt tiny little bit which is enough 2 last mi 4 2hrs of blading...hahas...although i 1st blooded 4 falling...bt...i only fell twice? once at the start and once at the end...tis is called 有始有终...cool ba...

its quite happy 2 c tt alot of the cls members came down 4 the outing...since the cls was like disbanded when we all graduated and outings were few and little all along...hahas...so can i say the cls is bonded? lol...

outing pics...juz go facebook and check it out ba...i still abit lazy 2 save it 2 my com...dun even say uploading here...hahas...

yeah...and i nid 2 arrange stuff in july so i can clear leave...like a wt...zzz...

2009-06-28T02:44:00.003+08:00

wif most of the blogs dead...i find tt sometimes i blog cos i wan ppl 2 b able 2 read sth and tink... 'oh, at least kr is still nt dead' ....lol...lame...bt well...sometimes lah...

seeing cw going to 3sir and field camp and noeing wat happened 2 him b4 booking in...reminds mi of the memories of bmt...tt time life was hard...u r basically quite alone and there is nt enough time 4 everything...u juz have 2 make do wif either less tok time or less time 2 do other shit...5mins of toking time on the hp was actually considered a luxury during my orion days...and everytime u call and hear some1 familiar...there was tis touched bt lonely feeling...and when u c some1 u noe in other coy during breakfast...the feeling of seeing ur fren in the hardest of times was juz as emotional...

anyway...we grew out of tt feeling as time passes by in bmt...and when its time 4 pop...u will look back and c how different u r since u enlisted...how embarrasing and stupid it was actually nearly on the verge of breaking dwn at tt time...

well...gd luck 2 those confined in tekong cos of H1N1...i tink it shld b crazily hard 2 hear tt they cnt book out another week...stay strong is the only phrase i can tink 4 those poor recruits...

ok...away from the emo stuff...now many things r settling itself...sometimes i really tink its the power of being positive...when u juz tink of positive stuff...and feel positive...u can c things in a different light...mayb its those positive feelings inside mi tt made tis few days much betta and oso helped mi in settling those tedious and wth stuff tt r nt supposed 2 be ours in the 1st place...

emo: ppl nids 2 suffer 2 realise those impt things in their life...
+ve: 过去不等于未来!!

2009-06-26T15:37:00.002+08:00

pick urself up from where u fell...

i m tinking and retinking abt the way i do things...mayb my form of leadership is wrong...mayb my approach 2 different things r nt gd...

i believe many things i can do much betta...

2009-06-23T15:10:00.003+08:00

how unpredictable the weather is...it was like super sunny in the morning when i was eating breakfast in chinatown and now its a downpour in yishun...

well...the rain came at quite a gd time...NUS juz rejected my appeal...which is like quite expected since its alrdy quite late and of cos only 1 white thin letter came...its quite sianz 2 b rejected again and again...bt theres no choice...perseverance loh...1 last chance left...

i still havent found the direction in my life...many ppl my age have lots of dreams...have lots of things they wan do...have lots of aspirations...alrdy clear where they wanna go, wanna b in the future...while i m stuck like a walking zombie...aimlessly dragging myself along time...mayb when i was growing up...tt part of mi wif all those impt parts juz died along the way...and i m left wif tt empty empty de shell...

now...i juz have 2 cont dragging myself...trying my best in everything i do...even if i dun really like...or else i will nvr b able to find my missing part...yep...mayb i will lag behind as i always do...mayb i nid to walk a much longer way compared to others...bt betta late than nvr...

juz smile and strive forward XP

and the reshuffle comes again...